Please give a big GODDESS welcome to the wonderful Holly Jacobs!!
Lessons for a Mother-in-Law
So, the first of my children got married a week and a half ago. Wow. I am officially a mother-in-law, and that means that I have the potential for becoming a grandmother someday. I think the whole mother-of-the-bride thing was a great prep for my future as a mother-in-law and grandmother status.
Here are a few rules I gave myself as my future son-in-law and daughter dated, then planned a wedding, and how I hope they translate into my future.
1. IT’S YOUR WEDDING/marriage/baby…
When my daughter began planning her wedding, it was a very different wedding than I’d have planned. I’m a more low-key kind of person. This was a very high-key sort of wedding. My mantra throughout the whole affair was, “It’s your day, honey. Whatever you want.” If she asked an opinion, I’d give it, but end with, “It’s your day, honey.
Whatever you want.” If she didn’t ask an opinion, I didn’t offer one.
2. FAMILY FIRST
3. BUILD YOUR OWN MEMORIES/TRADITIONS
When my daughter brought home my future son-in-law, he came with a family of his own…traditions of his own. The past few years, as he’s assimilated into our family, I’ve tried to remember that his family counts, too. I’ve heard too many horror stories of families pulling couples in two directions and I haven’t played that game, and will continue to avoid it. When holidays roll around, I ask what his plans with his family are, then try to adapt our dinners/celebrations around that. Now, I realize as the other kids get older and marry, I won’t always be able to accommodate everyone, but I’ll try to do my best, and I won’t ever make them feel guilty if they need to skip out on us early, or arrive late, or if they have to skip us all together. It’s their life. They’ll need to figure out how to make it work for them. I hope to always be a part of it, but I’d rather be a joyful part, then a difficult obligation.
4. CELEBRATE AND DON’T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
So, that’s it. I’m a mother-in-law. I hope to be a good one. Families change. They alter and grow. This is a good change for us, and I’m thrilled to welcome another son into the family. And my previously solo son is thrilled not to be so badly outnumbered by his three sisters. The wedding was a lovely day, but it was just a day. I’m looking forward to watching my daughter and son-in-law’s married life progress and grow! And I hope to be a joyful part of it!