I have humor envy. Or maybe it’s personality envy.
I don’t know which, but whatever. All I have to say is, thanks a lot, Danica. This is all your fault.
Yeah, yeah, thanks to Danica, I now spend WAY too much time visiting the varied web sites of The Bloggess.
Who IS she, anyway? A mom in Houston, it turns out (though she’s moving to some rural town and all I can say is WATCH OUT! Small town harbor some craziness that can’t even be understood, much less…er…understood. So, The Bloggess is practically my neighbor. We’re both in Texas, and everyone knows that all Texans stick together and a 20 hour road trip across the state is, like, nothing. (So, Bloggess, wanna hang out? Text me.)
Seriously though, I found her blog through loyal Naked Hero Goddess Girl Danica and from The Bloggess (aka Jenny), I found her Good Mom/Bad Mom column, and from there I sound SEXIS and the 11 things she knows about the vagina. All I have to say is Oh. My. God.
Which leads me full circle to my first statement. I totally have humor envy. My brain doesn’t work like Jenny’s, and I wish it did. I wouldn’t mind having 455+ people comment on a post, either. Great, so now I have comment envy. Whatever. Guess I just want to be Jenny, at least for a day.
I need to tell myself what I tell my daughter…be proud of who you are, be true to yourself, blah blah blah. I bet Jenny’s advice to her daughter is WAY funnier.
Jenny’s list sparked a few questions and thoughts of my own (again, thanks 
Danica… you’ve taken me to a dark, dark place):
1. Do cartoon females have va-jay-jays? Did Wilma? Fred and Wilma? Betty must, since she and Barney had a little Bam Bam.
2. It’s true, heroes want their heroines to have them. I’d say it’s a deal-breaker, unless, of course, the hero really wants to star in one of those M/M/F books that are all the rage, then I guess it wouldn’t be a problem, would it?
3. What’s the craziest euphemism you’ve heard? Seriously, Bermuda Triangle, honey pot, love canal, wishing well… We might just have a Naked Hero t-shirt to the person with the most creative response to this one…
4. 2 vaginas? Where did Jenny get her facts ’cause I wanna know more! I’m in my 40s and haven’t heard that one and, uh, can’t say that I’m aware of 2… Corroboration, anyone?
5. It’s 2010 and Hugh Hefner becomes the moral compass in a sex scandal (or two). Holy mackerel! Does agreeing with Hugh mean I’m not a feminist and that I condone him having Trixie, Dixie, and Bolixie all at the same time? Does not agreeing with him make me a hypocrite? When did the world of men seeking vaginas become so complicated and force us to take a stand?!
Be Hercules:
Read Jenny’s blog on vaginas. Please. Then come back here and reveal all to The Naked Hero. Tell us if you learned anything vaginal. Bring the humor on over!
About Misa
WOW!!!! All I can say is WOW!!
Seriously~I’m all about the vagina. My favorite it they are self cleaning like eyes and ovens.
Trust me when I say, my boys know all abou the veejay jay and that is exactly what we call it. When you are a mother of four and the only woman in the house….let’s just say I have to have someone to talk too…even my dogs are boys!!!!
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I didn’t allow my Mother to talked to me about girly stuff. I was even embarrassed for her to say panties while we were out shopping. Through my impressionable years, I was only around my Brother and his friends. SO, I never had a reason to mention Vaginas. I knew that it was improper to have my brother in the bathroom while I was in there. So I guess that’s why I thought it should be a secret. I’m still not comfortable speaking about “it” and i’ll end it there. Just wanted to put my two cents in. I have two young girls. I can talk to them about it, but it’s very scientific. It is a vagina…not a Va jay jay! lol
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Misa, I’d apologize, but I’m glad others have discovered the wonder that is The Bloggess. I now have my sister hooked and she’ll e-mail me “Did you read The Bloggess yet?!” She cracks me up. I haven’t had a chance to read her sexis columns yet, I’m saving those for a special day (like when I can laugh and snort my breath away).
We called it “booty” when we were growing up. Then Booty became the bum and now we’re all messed up. Kind of like fanny in the UK (you did know that “fanny” there doesn’t mean butt, right? Imagine how much they snicker when we Americans talk about our “fanny packs”). Now, my great-uncles called it a go-go. I have no idea why.
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That is the funniest blog. Thanks for suggesting it.
I recently had surgery and had some complications with scar tissue. I started out going to the doctor and saying all of the politically correct terms for vagina and other parts. Now, the doctor and I have a great friendship and I call it what it is my vajayjay. LOL He is the funniest man and appreciates all the politically incorrect terms. My favorite was called the hot box, we both got a laugh over that and turtle.
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The Hot Box… I love that one, Patty!
i don’t know if I’d say all that to my doctor. Bravo to you for having that kind of relationship with him!
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Danica, I’ll blame you…and love you forever!
Julia! I’m so glad you’re honest about it, and even gladder that, despite it being un poquito uncomfortable, you still do talk to your girls about it all. Thanks for your 2 cents!
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Wow in a good way, Tonya?! And where’s Tracy? I want to hear what she has to say!!
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Completely speechless.
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I did forget to say; that was a very funny blog! Thank you
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Okay, the guy here. I read the bloggess, and had a good chuckle. As usual ye ole gal friend gave me a holler, “you’ve got to read this and respond.”
Well, I was a only child raised by a single mom. We had a girl dog who was ‘fixed’. So there was NO talk of vaginas. Only the “If you get your girlfriend pregnant in high school”, talk. My life would be over because if the girl’s father didn’t run me over with a tractor and bury me in a cornfield, oops, my mother would kill me in some other unthinkable way. That was closes I came to the vagina talk. In other words it was the keep yours away from hers.
Fast forward, I’m all grown up, with the gal friend. So honey, I’m about to get all personal, hang on to those horses, or the vagina. She calls “hers”, the woo-woo. In a very high pitched voice. She’s probably not going to talk to me for a very long time after this. But she told me to respond..High hon, love ya.
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Sam here again…And Hugh is my hero. Or at least, he will be when I’m as old as dirt and want to be just like him!
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LOL, funny blog! I’m suppose to be getting ready to meet my daughter so I’ll have to go over to visit the Bloggess later. When I spoke with my daughter about it, we always just said vagina – we didn’t have those interesting nicknames around. She calls it a vajay-jay now I think – or something like that. I’ll have to ask her.
I remember a friend of mine using puntang but that was in the 70′s.
I’ve heard some pretty interesting ones like Venus’ honeypot and glory hole.
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My mother-in law calls it the (bee hive). I have heard lots of names for the vagina, but you all out did all the ones I have heard!
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