10 Reasons Why Demons Make Better Lovers
Women can’t help but love bad boys. I think it’s programmed into our DNA.
But while women might love them, deep down, we all know the truth – bad boys are rarely worth the trouble it would take to turn them into good mate material.
This is where fiction steps in. Romance writers have found a neat little loophole to circumvent this unfortunate reality and give it a Happy Ever After. We make stuff up. Who wouldn’t rather read about a bad boy than actually date one? (Try them both – you’ll soon see what I mean.)
Since we’re making this stuff up anyway, let’s go for the ultimate in bad boys. Demons are the best of the best when it comes to being bad. To prove my point, I’ve come up with my personal shortlist of reasons as to why demons make better lovers.
Here they are, in no particular order:
1. Lack of performance anxiety
You never hear a demon asking if it was good for you. They already know it was.
2. Ready-made (story) conflict
This one’s more for the writer, but still. He’s a demon. That’s going to take some explaining when you introduce him to the parents. Imagine the conversation you’ll have over a nice family dinner. (“Well yeah, he has a job. He’s a DEMON.”) So if you like annoying your parents, there you go.
3. You can walk into skeevy bars and past construction sites
Go forth with impunity. Demons are notoriously protective of their mates. Who in their right mind is going to approach a woman who dates a demon? No more “Hey, Sweet Thang. How’s about I give you some of this?”
Because you can turn around and give them some of that.
4. Your vices will look good in comparison
No more worrying about PMS mood swings having a negative impact on a relationship. He’ll have no right to judge.
5. Superhuman strength
It comes in handy for opening those little jars of stuffed olives and for killing really big, ugly, hairy spiders. Also whatever was making the strange noises in the closet.
6. Going to hell no longer looks all that bad
If you’re going anyway, you may as well enjoy the ride and take him with you. Makes the prospect look better, doesn’t it?
7. They can be summoned and banished at will
No more awkward good nights or good mornings.
8. They feed themselves after sex
Mind you, what they eat is sometimes questionable and may have to be monitored, especially if you happen to like your neighbors.
9. Depending on who you believe, they can withstand daylight
Beats the heck out of dating vampires. You can go to a matinee together, or take a walk in the park. You don’t have to worry about waking up late at night to find him watching you sleep, either.
10. Old boyfriends will know better than to call.
If not, see #3 and #8. Those will resolve any lingering issues.
There you have them. My reasons why demons make better lovers. Anyone care to add to the list?
Paula Altenburg lives in rural Nova Scotia, Canada, with her husband and two sons. Once a manager in the aerospace industry, she now enjoys the luxury of working from home and writing full time. She currently writes demon westerns for Entangled Publishing.
Paula also co-authors paranormal romance under the pseudonym Taylor Keating, and her third book from Tor, Fair Game, releases August 28th 2012.
Visit her at www.paulaaltenburg.com.