What Does a Girl Get a Demon Slayer for Christmas?

I’ve been giving this a lot of thought. On my heroine’s behalf, you understand.  This will be her first Christmas with him, and she wants it to be special.

But they’re still in the honeymoon stage of their relationship and they don’t really know each other that well yet. My Demon Slayer’s not really into collecting things—except for demon deaths. He has one good friend, and the friend is a former assassin. They don’t normally exchange anything more than a few words though, let alone gifts, so that’s not a real help.

He has seven sisters, but he hasn’t seen them in years. His one long-term companion is a giant sand swift he calls Sally. His most prized possession is an amulet that gives him demon strength.

My heroine is a lot kinder and nicer than he is. If left on her own she’d get him something romantic. He’ll love it no matter she gives him because he loves her, but really, he’s better off with a gift he can use.

And they should start this relationship off the way they plan to continue.

So, with all that in mind, I do have a few suggestions to help her out:

• Weapons of mass destruction

He would love, love, love these. But while these would be a big help to him at work, they might create some significant problems. Their world has already been scoured by demon fire. I don’t think my heroine wants to go down that road, especially since her father happens to be the Demon Lord and WMDs could be a conflict of interest. Christmas dinner’s already going to be awkward enough.

I also suspect WMDs might not be in keeping with the spirit of the season.

• “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie

Let’s face it. My hero’s not much of a people person. He’s definitely not a demon person. He needs all the help he can get if he wants to settle down and make friends with the neighbors. Because you never know who might end up living next door.

• A mood ring

Every married person should have a mood ring. I’d say this could almost be a necessity for this particular relationship if it’s going to succeed. He’s the Demon Slayer. She’s half demon. She might need a heads up when he comes home at night if he’s had a bad day at the office. In fact, she should get a matching set. He might like a heads up in case her day went south, too.

Now I want a mood ring.

• Tide to Go Instant Stain Remover

Demon slaying is messy business and she wants him to look professional at all times. That means taking care of the details that make him look good.

• Devil May Cry HD Collection

My son tells me this video game is essential for demon slayers. I’ll have to take his word for it. (And now I’m planning to stalk him on Facebook to find out what, exactly, he’s studying in university.)

• “Awaken the Giant Within” and “Unlimited Power” by Anthony Robbins

Everyone should read Anthony Robbins.  My demon slayer is way ahead of the game already with that fire walking thing, but if ever there’s a career choice that requires a person to be properly and perpetually motivated, demon slaying would be it.

• A year’s supply of insect repellent

It can’t hurt. Since demons like to eat men, at the very least it’s going to make him taste terrible.

Happy holidays, everyone!

If you were a half demon heroine, what would you get a demon slayer boyfriend for Christmas?

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